“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can, And wisdom to know the difference” – Serenity Prayer 

 

Hello Friends! It’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to sit down, breathe, and write from the heart. I can truly say that I’ve missed this creative process and the internal therapy sessions that subsequently follow it. I’ve found that much of my content comes from times of intense growth, and often harsh lessons that accompany this. Despite the struggles during these past few months, being able to share my stories with the world has helped me process and make peace with things that I otherwise would have held on to and internalized for far too long. I recognize that I am someone who has a habit of holding on to things and people who don’t necessarily serve my highest good. I hold on for various reasons, and often find myself wanting to “fix” what I believe is “wrong” with such situations. And while I inherently mean well and believe that everyone is deserving of unconditional love, often times this is a self destructive pattern that not only harms me, but the people I am seeking to “fix” as well. Through spending much time with myself and having long internal talks trying to figure out where this “savior complex” stems from, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve known, deep down, all along. Instead of spending my energies “fixing” and holding on, hoping for change and holding out for what I hope to come to fruition, I need to let go. I cannot change people, nor is it my job on this Earth to do so. I am, in fact, not Swedish House Mafia and it is not my job to “Save The World”.

I’m a firm believer that nothing is coincidence. People enter your life for reasons, difficult things happen to teach lessons, and that Truth is always revealed in perfect timing (even if it’s not what we want to hear or expect to hear). I also believe that we continue to experience things until we learn our bigger lesson, and only then a new lesson begins once we resolve what we need to know. We experience life through mistakes and adversity, but growth fosters when we take our experience and knowledge forward with us, hopefully shaping us into better people in the process. And let me state for the record…. this year has been FULL of learning lessons, both good and bad. I can honestly say this year has shaped my life indefinitely and molded me into the woman I am destined to become. And while I am FAR from flawless (I am leaving that mood up to Queen Beyonce), I have learned to embrace and recognize all the things that make me who I am, even the not so great parts. For example, I am known to love “difficult people”, almost to a fault. And while it is wonderful that I seek to see the goodness in everyone, I have to remind myself that not everyone is receptive of me nor wants my friendship and love. AND THATS COMPLETELY OK! It is not something I should take personally. Everyone is just doing their best, and how they love you in return is a reflection of where they are at in their own journey.

At this moment in time, I am learning how to create healthy boundaries with others and realizing that sometime you need to “clean house” regarding friendships to allow for others to enter your life that are reciprocal. And while it is always bittersweet closing a chapter with someone or something, it doesn’t make their presence in your story any less significant. In fact, we should honor these people and the roles that they have played in the story of ourselves. However, holding onto people or situations that restrict your growth or who cause emotional turmoil is not healthy, and you deserve better than that my dear. Sometimes we have to simply let go and make peace with the fact that people who we thought would always be in our lives sometimes won’t be. And that sometimes the people we think we know end up being different people entirely. This is not a reflection on you sis, so stop thinking that it is. All we can do is continue on our path and trust that better is coming as long as we are receptive to it.

There is liberation in letting go and choosing yourself and your own well being above all else. Be brave enough to love yourself so fiercely that anyone who deviates from your standard of friendship and love can quietly exist your life without disturbing your peace.  What you tolerate becomes what you attract in life, so do not settle for anything less than what you deserve. Sometimes there truly is a “good” in goodbye and it is ok to embrace that. In fact, there is beauty in this.

And for god sake girl stop lighting yourself on fire to keep others warm…. keep your light and set your life ablaze ❤

 

XoXo

Emily