How beautiful it is to love someone with all of your heart and soul. Learning how to unconditionally love, seeking to accept and understand another person, despite faults and shortcomings. Through darkness and light, learning to grow alongside the other and truly know what it means to “see” another for who they really are. I had the privilege of having just that; I had the privilege of loving another person with every fiber of my being.
Four months ago, I met a man who would unexpectedly change my life on my twenty sixth birthday. We met in Croatia and had a once in a life time experience of sailing a beautiful week together at Yacht Week. As the days progressed, a spark was ignited, and I began to develop a deep affinity for him. We danced the entire week together, spent nights in each other’s arms, and truly lived a fantasy, halfway around the world surrounded by our mutual friends. It was clear that our meeting was not coincidence, but rather a divine intervention, brought together by cosmic force and that we were destined to find each other. Anyone who spent the week with us could see that we had something special, and despite the distance that we were geographically facing once we returned home, we left Yacht Week together as a couple, vowing to make it work and to not let this magic die.
We spent another three and a half months together, learning about each other and allowing ourselves to be seen and heard, letting love seep in slowly. Nothing about our relationship was typical, and the miles that we traveled to see each other were always well anticipated and appreciated. I will never forget how it felt to hear that he loved me for the first time, during a song that we would forever share as one that was “ours”. It was magical and perfect and a moment that made me feel on top of the world, pure euphoria in the arms of a man who loved me in such a way that my soul needed. For the first time, I was loved in a way that was pure and true and my idea of what love “ought to be and look like” were stripped away. I was loved despite my imperfections and I was always encouraged to “be me” and “be weird”, and to be all the things that I had been so afraid of authentically being. He was “the one”, I was so sure of it, and it felt as natural as breathing air. I had, “found the one whom my soul loved” and life seemed to be complete.
Unfortunately, despite our truest wishes and hopes, life has other plans that we cannot always understand. What we were so sure of does not come to fruition, and we find ourselves facing choices that we never dreamed of encountering. As our time together progressed and the magic of the relationship began to fade, we found that our differences made way to difficult times and misunderstandings. What I inherently needed and wanted did not always align with what he inherently needed nor could provide. We were two people, desperately in love, yet wanted different things and a life that didn’t necessarily coincide. Watching him leave my city apartment for the last time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure, and my heart aches for him in a way that I have never known. What I would give to make this work again, to have you here and to “fix” what is broken, to love all the shattered pieces of us and put them back together again. Regardless of my wants and hopes of what I know we could be, life doesn’t always work the way we wish it to and we must accept things for what they are, despite not understanding in the “now”.
I regret not a moment we spent together, and you will always have a place in my heart. You changed my life for the better and I would not be the woman I am now without your lessons and love. You taught me how to grow, to accept another for who they are to their core, and what it means to fight for the things and people that you love so desperately, without caution or restraint. To look at someone as a whole, and love them inside and out, even the parts that are not so easy to understand or easy to love. I will always have a love for you that runs as deep as the ocean we once sailed on together, and as pure and bright as the stars that watched us from above. The Universe had a plan for our time together, and I am so grateful that you exist in this world and that we met in this lifetime. Thank you for being you always, and I am forever thankful that I was a part of your story ❤
Love always,
Your Duck
Single In the New City 