Hello Friend! It’s been quite some time since I’ve blogged and much has occurred since my last post. Since July I’ve traveled Europe, found myself in a new relationship (I know, it’s a shocker for me too!), and as most people know from my copious social media postings, I am currently training for the Chicago Marathon. Only 28 days until I return to the starting line and tackle the 26.2 miles of Chicago scenery that lay ahead. Trying for marathon #7 has proved to be challenging both physically (I guess the 72 bottles of rosé that our boat consumed at Yacht Week caught up with me after all…), and mentally. Preparing yourself for 26.2 miles is never an easy feat, and this process is truly a time where I am able to reflect on myself and assess where I am at in all apects of my life. After all, I have more than 4 hours of nothing but time to think of anything and everything imaginable! Oh the things you can think about… it’s a scary thought!

With less than 4 weeks to go until the big day, I am entering the “tapering phase” of training. My 20+ mile runs have been accomplished and I slowly, but surely, reduce my milage as time goes on. This is the time many runners start to feel anxious, antsy, and as though they are human garbage disposals, ready to devour anything and everything available to them in sight. A myriad of things run through your head during the weeks leading up to the race, and often runners feel emotionally volatile from reduction of mileage and overall lack of control that this process renders. Some of the many thoughts that may enter a runners mind are as follows: “Was my training adequate?”, “What if my body doesn’t show up ready to perform on race day?”, “What If I get injured and don’t finish?”, “What if I shit myself mid race?!”, etc.  (OK I was kind of kidding on the shitting part… but runners stomach is a real thing for the record…)

As a means to celebrate my off day and to take advantage of AMC $5 movie Tuesdays, I decided to check out a film I’ve been anticipating for a long time. Brittany Runs A Marathon is inspired by a true story of woman named Brittany who goes from a nonexistent fitness level, to completing the NYC Marathon. Jillian Bell from the TV show Workaholics plays the character of Brittany and does a phenomenal job capturing how a marathon not only changes your life physically, but changes how you see yourself and the world around you. I relate to Brittany on so many levels and find that my story of running parallels hers in many ways. Watching Bell’s character development throughout the movie took me back to four years ago when I took my first real post-grad run on Thanksgiving morning of 2015. Similar to Brittany at the beginning of the film, I was overweight from college, finding myself in horrible eating and drinking habits, stressed from my new nursing career, and overall unhappy with how I looked and felt. Although I didn’t have a doctor tell me that I needed to lose weight, the fried bar food and beers from Tuesday night Trivia, as well as the late nights out with friends, had taken a toll on my body. I was sluggish, bloated, and knew that it would only get worse in time if I didn’t take control of my life and my health. The weather was unusually warm for November in St. Louis, so I decided to go outside for a “jog”. Dressed in a cotton T-Shirt (HUGE MISTAKE), nike shorts, and “running shoes” (EVEN BIGGER MISTAKE…), I left my neighborhood and went around the block to see how far I could go. I’m fairly certain I walked as much as I ran that day, but I remember feeling accomplished for getting out there and proactively burning the calories that I would soon surplus from that evening’s impending feast.

It wasn’t long after my first run that I began to slowly pick up the mileage and start to feel the effects of physical activity. Sure, I felt horrible while I was running most of the time, but afterwards I felt great and had more energy overall. I made friends with a girl from work named Lauren who was a “serious runner” and soon our friendship blossomed as we bonded over turning patients and confusing our patient’s families at our uncanny resemblance.  At the time she had completed 14 half marathons in 2014, and had just ran the 2015 Chicago Marathon. In my eyes, she was a “real runner”, and I was hesitant when she suggested that I try running a half marathon for myself. Sure I could handle a 5K no problem, but 13.1 miles…. was she out of her mind?! Although I was consistently running and it was becoming increasingly easier (and the chafing, GI issues, and bruised toenails began to become a regular occurrence in my life), I still didn’t consider myself a “runner”, especially when my friend’s accomplishments were next level incredible and I was only running 4 miles at maximum. After much encouragement and a few runs at a local park attempting to keep up with her, she convinced me to sign up of the 2016 St. Louis Go! Half Marathon in April. As I clicked the registration button, I knew there was no turning back, as she would for sure hold me accountable for training and finishing the race.

As I continued to train for the half, I began to fall in love with running. Four miles turned into six, six turned into ten, and before I knew it I had run my debut half marathon in 2:03:38. In addition to running times that many would consider as “good”, my body was drastically changing. Much of the weight I had gained senior year of college and months into post grad life started to melt off, and I felt better overall. The endorphins were rampant and the milage skyrocketed as I started to realize that the “runners high” that so many people report was in fact 1000% true. During this time I started to run trail races in addition to road races, and much of my weekends became devoted to early bedtimes and crack of dawn race starts. My drinking was pretty much non-existent, as many mornings called for early wake up calls due to the humidity of St. Louis, and my actual mood and anxiety level was directly correlated to whether or not I was able to get a decent run in for the day. When I was unable to run or took a few days off the road, I became irritable, snappy, and an emotional time bomb. And as I continued to train and people noticed the changes in me, my cycle of obsessive running only intensified. By the end of the summer, I had impulsively signed up for an ultra marathon (a race that exceeds 26.2 miles)  and was set to run my first marathon in Portland Oregon the following month (because it makes total sense to run 31 miles before you run 26.2 miles….).

In just a year, running had taken over my life and became my outlet for escaping and coping with changes that were occurring. I felt like a completely different person, and one that I was so proud of, but it didn’t occur without some concerns from family and friends regarding the frequency of my races and risk for injury. At this time, my mindset was focused on completing a sub 2:00:00 half marathon finish time, and I was stopping at nothing to accomplish it. Finally on my fourth half marathon, I was able to cross the finish line in 1:57:57, which is still my PR to this day.

By January 2017, I was 15-20 pounds lighter and had completed an ultra marathon, 2 full marathons, 6 half marathons, and countless other races of lesser mileage both on trial and on road. I finally identified as a “runner” and was traveling regularly across the country, as well as internationally, for races. My pinnacle of running, however, occurred in Fall of 2017 where I was selected via lottery for both the Chicago Marathon, as well as the NYC Marathon the following month. In addition to two marathons just a month apart, I had drunkenly signed up for the 2018 Disney Marathon after a long day of bottomless mimosa brunch…. making my new feat three marathons in three months! How I ever physically accomplished this, I will never know, and I am still flabbergasted that a human body can endure such brutality. I can only attribute this to sheer insanity and incredibly supportive parents who were at every single race cheering me on along the way.  I couldn’t have done this without you, Mom and Dad ❤

As I watched Brittany Runs A Marathon, I became emotional watching her navigate the ups and downs of training, as well as her coming to terms with her “new self”. Much of what she felt, I too had experienced, and her transformation was all too real. The movie uses footage of the 2017 NYC Marathon and follows the actual course map. I started ugly-crying as I watched Brittany run the five boroughs and cross the finish line, reliving both my experiences at the race in 2017 and 2018. Crossing the finish line at the world’s largest marathon is a feeling that is indescribable and overwhelming, and watching her character being supported and cheered on by family and friends takes me back to so many wonderful memories of my own, with my parents always at the finish line. To the spectators of the race and volunteers on course, THANK YOU for your unrelenting support on race day. We couldn’t do this without you and you are appreciated more than you know.

As I reflect back on these past four years and how far I’ve come, I can’t help but to feel grateful for my body and the ability to run. Sure, there are still things that I would like to change about it, and I still splurge here and there on junk food, but my legs have carried me thousands of miles and allow me to continue to run and move without hesitation. My running these days has changed from focus on being faster and better, to being thankful for being healthy and able to be active. I have come leaps and bounds with my marathon training over this past month and I know that it is as much of a mental game as it is a physical game. Weeks ago 10 to 13 miles was draining and I was in a negative feedback loop of doubt and fear. Tonight  tonight I go to bed to prepare for an “easy 15” miler knowing that no matter what, I get to run on October 13th for a cause bigger than myself and just crossing the finish line is enough. I am looking forward to these next few weeks of training and finding the joys of being outside and getting the chance to run as a Chicagoan at one of the six World’s Marathons. I know that my career in running has a long way to go and I look forward to growing old with this sport that continues to keep me humbled. Cheers to finishing the race next month, and the inevitable post race beer I will happily enjoy.

Xoxo Emily